Yesterday, I went to the relay for life event at the WO high school track. This is an event where you walk around the track, and raise money to find a cure for cancer. At 11:00pm, there is a event called Mr.Relay, that event was first starting when my neighbors mom called me back to the tent. When I went to the tent, I saw my dad standing there in tears. His words that he spoke to me were devastating. "She's gone". My mom, is gone. She is with Jesus. She is cancer free. I could have chose to go to the hospice home with my dad, but I wanted to stay. I promised my mom a while back that I would walk around the track so many times, just for her. I walked 15 miles in a 24 hour period.
I love my mom, but she is with Jesus, in a much better place. We have to remember to be happy for her, and not mourn for her loss.
"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love an go on."
Those are some words of advice that my friend gave me a while back.
Just beautiful...may peace come to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI too lost my mother 8 years ago.
ReplyDeleteIt was not cancer, but it was my life.
I know how hard it is to learn to live without mom, but slowly, and with the help of family, makes you learn and remember to smile.
You will be a very strong woman for the rest of your life, but you now want the opposite. Be happy.
Embrace your father and brothers, and love you forever. Always be together, be a family together, I will do much good.
I've been following your parents blog and praying for your family for about a year. I will continue to pray that you all feel the peace and comfort that only God can give you. God bless your family.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your parents' blog for quite some time & praying for your family. I've never met you all but am thankful for the words you all have written. I'm so sorry for your loss & will continue to pray for all of you. It is truly a blessing for your mother to have met Jesus but it is okay to mourn her loss to you on this earth. Even Jesus wept. You seem like a very smart, lovely young lady. May God's peace warm all your hearts and go with you as you walk through this valley. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteYou are one amazing girl. I will, as always, keep your family in my prayers...
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your Mom! Your post was beautiful! You are so wise beyond your years! Your brother and sister are blessed to have you for an older sister! Praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteAshley - your mom would be so proud of you on so many levels. You are showing your maturity through this process with your mom. You are a beautiful young woman and you remind me so much of your mom with your positive attitude and writing.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Your mom was one of the most amazing people I've ever known. She will be missed on this earth dearly, but I'm rejoicing that she is finally cancer-free and pain-free....so happy for her. I pray that you and your family would feel God's loving arms holding you tight!
Let me know if you need anything....hugs!
You are being prayed for right now Ashley, right this very minute, along with your dad and siblings.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I am in awe of you, your maturity and your love for Jesus is so real and passionate. Praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteRealy sorry to hear this. but like they said, she know cancer free and in a place
ReplyDeleteAshley,
ReplyDeleteI know that everyone has already said this a number of times, but 1) you have the support of so many people praying for you!
2)That is so awesome that you stayed and walked for your mom
3)I am soo sorry for your loss...it's okay to let it out. Talk to her...she will hear you!
I'm so sad for your mom's loss to you, your family and your many, many friends - but also so happy to know that she's in Heaven with my mom now :) Before my mom died, she told me that she'd always watch out for me - and even though she died almost 9 years ago, I still feel her presence....I know she's my guardian angel and, more importantly, my little boys' special angel up in Heaven. I know that your mom will do the same for you, I pray that you'll feel her presence and comfort in your life when you need it most.
ReplyDeleteAs another commenter said....it's perfectly ok to let yourself mourn for her. Human emotions are so complex, it's possible to be both happy and heartbroken at the same time.
You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers!
Ashley - You are a beautiful and amazing girl whose love for Jesus simply shines through your posts. Please know you and your family are being lifted in prayer. May your Mom's memory be eternal. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteWow, your Mom left an incredible legacy. You! She must be so happy the Lord blessed her and entrusted her and your Dad to raise such a wonderful warrior. That's what you are. Stay strong and remember when trials come, you can remember how your lovely Mom faced them, staring them down and facing the wind.
ReplyDeleteAshley, you remend me of your Mom so much. She loved you very much and oh so proud. You are beautiful just like your mom. You have also comforted us through your journey and your incredable passion for Jesus. We are praying for all of you from Chicago. We will always remember her beauty and spirit and she will be deeply missed. Love Jeff,Denise ,Christina and Amanda
ReplyDeleteI have never met you or your family. I have followed your blog and your dad's blog for quite awhile. I have sincerely prayed daily for you and your family. You are such a beautiful soul and your presence brings beauty to the world. God Bless you and I will continue to pray for you and your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteAshley,
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful young woman. Your mom is so proud of you. We are praying for you and your family and sending love.
Very well said Ashley.
ReplyDeleteI have been following your parent's blog for a while and have been amazed at the courage, strength and most of all faith that your Mom and Dad shared on this journey.
Yes, you will miss your mothers's physical presence and touch but how awesome is it that she is in heaven living with Jesus!! No more pain, or sickness. FREE with Jesus!!! Continue to cherish your memories of your Mom. They will live on with you for your lifetime and one day you will be able to share them with your children; and just know that your Mom is watching and smiling. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers. It is ok to shed a tear, or be sad and have a bad day. Time will lessen the sorrow in your heart. You have been blessed with wonderful parents...one now in heaven, and one who needs you here. Remember to Smile, Look-Up, and Trust God!!
Ashley, I have been praying so hard for your family as you are going through this difficult time. It is a beautiful thing that she is pain free and sitting in the arms of Jesus! You are such an amazing girl!
ReplyDeleteAshley when i read this i was so sad. i have been praying for you and i won't stop. though difficult times you look to the best times like now she is free of pain and is with the one who love her and will keep her safe for you over the years. We all love you
ReplyDeleteEven though we are strangers, I've followed your parents blog for some time, and have been amazed by the love your family shares. Just remember, you are never alone, God, your family, friends and even strangers over the internet have you in their thoughts and prayers constantly. ALWAYS praying.
ReplyDeleteAshley, I just read this and am in tears at the amazing girl that you are! I love you so much. You are just like your mom and I love that because I miss her so much too but I see her every time I look at you! I loved every minute having you in Colorado. It was almost like taking the vacation I didn't get to take with your mom but with you. You did some pretty amazing things in Colorado, but the thing I saw most was the strength you draw from God just one month after your mom passed away the way you pressed on and made friendships and shared on this trip. I love you, dear Ashley!!!
ReplyDeleteAunt Lori