She meets Jesus

Yesterday, I went to the relay for life event at the WO high school track. This is an event where you walk around the track, and raise money to find a cure for cancer. At 11:00pm, there is a event called Mr.Relay, that event was first starting when my neighbors mom called me back to the tent. When I went to the tent, I saw my dad standing there in tears. His words that he spoke to me were devastating. "She's gone". My mom, is gone. She is with Jesus. She is cancer free. I could have chose to go to the hospice home with my dad, but I wanted to stay. I promised my mom a while back that I would walk around the track so many times, just for her. I walked 15 miles in a 24 hour period.
I love my mom, but she is with Jesus, in a much better place. We have to remember to be happy for her, and not mourn for her loss.

"You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember her only that she is gone, or you can cherish her memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back, or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love an go on."

Those are some words of advice that my friend gave me a while back.

visiting my mom

Tonight, I went to visit my mom. At first, she didn't see me, she just saw my dad. When she saw me, her eyes lit up, and she gave me the biggest smile ever. My dad said that it was the biggest smile that she has given all day! I got to talk to her, and tell her the awards I won at school, and she even responded. When I left the room so my dad could talk to her, my mom said to my dad "Bring Ashley here was the best decision you have ever made." I'm going to miss her.

June 2

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! AND IT'S A HALF DAY!
I'm SO excited for it to be summer... but we still have to do homework over the summer... we have to read.. UGH... (reading is not one of my hobbies..) along with the reading... we have to write a book report. I like writing... but NOT book reports!
Anyways, were all doing pretty good over here, my grandparents have been here for a while, and are staying until my dad can stay here with Nathan, Emily and I. My mom has been in the hospice home for 8 days, hopefully God will bring her home soon.

June 1

Well, my mom is still here, resting peacefully in the hospice bed. I hope God takes her tonight. My mom use to love to write poems. My dad posted a poem that she wrote to her grandma when she was nearing her final stages. If you haven't read my dads blog yet, here it is:

Final Goodbye

.

Death is such a difficult thing

and so hard to comprehend.

So many broken hearts

that do not quickly mend.

 .

I just don’t understand

why people have to die.

It grieves my heart so badly

to see my family cry.

.

I know that death is better

than living here on earth,

for our treasure is in heaven

after that miraculous rebirth.

 .

The pain I feel right now

will slowly fade away,

but the memories I have of you grandma –

they are here to stay.

Here is a poem that I recently wrote for my mom:

Oh, the memories we have together,

I sure do wish they could last forever.

I don't understand why God is calling you home,

but there is a reason, that is for now, unknown.

We always walked together, but now we must part.

I want you to know, that you are always, in my heart.

Tuesday, May 31

My dad came home tonight! I was so excited to see him!
My grandma took me to get a haircut tonight. I don't have to study for any exams/tests because my amazing teachers let me be exempt. I was not at school most of last week, because I was spending time with my mom. My teachers said that since I wasn't there, I could skip them, due to our circumstances. I'm so glad I go to a Christian school!
Anyway, my mom is showing more signs that her time is coming soon. If you haven't read my parents blog yet, my dad said that my mom's face is getting thinner, and her arms are getting bonier. Please pray that her death will be peaceful.

Job 5:9 "He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

May 30

Well, my mom is still here..... and she really wants to go. We want her to go, but we also want her to stay. We want her to be out of pain, but we want her here to be a mother, and a wife. Everyday, she sits around waiting for God to take her home. She has been waiting for a week, we don't know what's going on, but we know that she won't be here much longer.
One of my moms favorite songs was "Healing Begins." I really encourage you to listen to it, it's a really great song.

Today, we went to the beach with my cousins, and we had a really fun time! Emily dug in the sand and made a HUGE letter T. I don't know why she made a T of all letters.... but she was content, so it was all good!

Keep the prayers comin'

Please pray your hardest for my mom tonight. I left the hospice home tonight not knowing if I will be able to talk to my mom again. She is excited to see Jesus, and we are all excited for her, but we're also going to miss her. My dad stayed at the Hospice home with her, and I'm at my house with my Aunt Lori. Nathan and Emily are spending the night at our friends. Please pray for peace for my mom, as she will be soon be going to see Jesus.