October 6

I do not have any courage whatsoever right now to write. I have tried over and over again, but for some reason I can't. So, for this post, I'm just going to encourage you to look over to my dads blog if you haven't already. It is www.briankristi.blogspot.com. On there is the video of my moms funeral/burial service.

Emily

I'm writing a paper for English. I'm writing about how to keep strong when you lose a parent. I used my younger sister Emily to help me write it. I asked her a couple questions. . . part of our conversation went like this: "Emily, do you think Mom is ever going to come back?" The simple word that she said next almost broke me down into tears. She said this. "yes." She thinks my mom is coming back. I wanted to tell her that our mom is not coming back, but I just couldn't. I don't know if I made the right decision or not. I wish that I could tell Emily that she's right.... that my mom is coming back. But I can't. She's never coming back. as much as I miss her. I know she's never coming back. No matter how many times I ask for her, it's not going to happen. I want to see her, I want Emily to see her, I just wish she was here. Life would be so much easier.

September 19

Well, I finally finished all the paperwork for going to read the Bible at Oak Crest. I'm going there tomorrow to turn it in, so hopefully I'll be able to start really soon. I'm really excited to start, but I'm also really nervous because if you've ever met me, you will know that I'm not the most... strong-willed person ever. I'm like my mom I guess, I like to stay in the "background" of things. So, this is a huge step up for me, I would have never imagined myself doing this 5 years ago.

My dad took my school pictures a while ago, so here's a couple of them.  I'll post Nathan and Emily's pictures once my dad takes them. 

September 6

School is going really well, I really like high school. I actually wake up excited to go to school(:
I love English. I have it 8th hour, so I get to look forward to it all day :) It's a great way to end the day. In English, all we do is write. That's why I like it. Here is one of the many writings that I wrote:

Shine Bright

The bright, astounding, shining sun brings warmth to my heart. If the sun can shine so brightly day after day, then so can I. I can shine with the love of Jesus, and so can everyone else. I appreciate the sun because it encourages me to try and shine with the Love of Jesus. My mom told me this when she was laying in the hospice bed “I’m not going to give you a list of things that I want you to do in your life. I just want you to always trust in Jesus.” I replied to her saying, “I will, I promise.” So now I won’t only trust in Him, but I’ll shine for him. If I can get other people to shine for Jesus too, even God will have to put on his sun glasses to be able to look down at us. We will shine brighter than the sun itself.

Recently, I decided that I want to do something that will impact this world. I know I already have a blog, but I want to do something more big that just write. So, I decided that I want to somehow lead people to Jesus. I asked my dad if I could go to a nursing home and read the residents there some scripture from the Bible. I know they're old, but if I want to lead as many people to Jesus as I can. Who knows, maybe I'll end up changing a life or two. I don't know how it will go, but I'm really excited to find out. Anyway, I ran this idea by my dad and he said that it's a great idea. I'm really excited to get started.

August 28

I kinda need you here mom. Pretty much really bad. I wish you could come back and I know that's selfish, but it's the truth.

1st day of High School

Well, today was my first day of high school. That building is soooo big. I only got lost once, though. It was only a half of a day so all of our classes were 5 minutes. All the teachers seem really nice, which is good. But, of course, I'm getting sick. I woke up today not feeling so well and now I have a cold.... and it sinks. Nathan and Emily also had a good 1st day, Emily is going into 2nd grade and Nathan is going into 6th. So, we all had pretty good first days and hopefully a good year will follow(:

August 16

I wrote this poem tonight and thought that I would share it, so here it is :)

How can I get through this? 

How am I suppose to stay strong? 

I want to be a normal kid

why does pain have to sting so long? 

Jesus can you hear me? 

I kinda have a situation here. 

I'm drowning and can't find the surface

and I feel as if no one is near. 

my mom meant everything to me 

and now all I can do to feel close to her is write. 

Jesus, it would be pretty cool if you could give me a sign from her some night. 

but for now I'll just pray

I'll put all my trust in  you. 

i hope that in the future, everything will turn out okay.