July 23

Every thing's going pretty well here-VBS (Vacation Bible School) has started and I'm teaching kindergarten. It's really fun! I love being with kids.
It's my 15th birthday tomorrow! I'm bringing cookies tomorrow for my kindergarten class, I made cookies tonight without too many problems, and that's quite an accomplishment with my baking skills. (I can't bake... at all.) I wish my mom could be here for my 15th birthday. When I was little I always dreamed of someday being 15. But, I imagined my mom being here to celebrate it with me. . . My mind still hasn't wrapped around the whole idea that she's gone. . and I don't think it ever will.

camping

We went camping last week, and it was so hot. It was record heat in Michigan, it got up to 104 degrees where we were camping. We went to the beach every day we were there, and yes, I got sun burned. I forgot to wear sun screen for only 2 hours, and my whole back was fried. I couldn't even do my own hair. It wasn't good, but it turned into a tan so it's all good now :) We went camping with my moms side of the family, we had a lot of fun. Here are some pictures of our week.

 The sunset was SO amazing. My cousins and I went out to the sand bar of lake Michigan and watched the sun until it was gone. 

On the last night that we were there, we lit lanterns into the sky. As soon as I saw that we were going to do that, I wanted to break into tears because the lanterns reminded me of what they did at relay for life. They let lanterns fly into the sky there, too. I think I put in an earlier post that the lanterns kind of remind me of what happened with my mom. She was here, then she was gone. Just like the lanterns once we set them on fire and then let them go. Anyway, we had one lantern for each family. All of the lanterns went up into the air, but ours. Our lantern got lit, and then me and my dad were holding it until the fire filled up the lantern with enough air, my dad said let go so we let go of the lantern and watched it go up... for about 2 seconds. Then, it completely dropped and landed in the lake.  I have to say it was kind of entertaining to watch the fire go out from the water, but I wish it would have gone into the air. I think the only reason ours was the only one that didn't go into the air is because my mom wasn't there. Every other family had a "complete" family. (A mom, a dad, that sort of thing.) My grandma and my grandpa, my Aunt Lori and Todd, and my Aunt Stephanie and my Uncle Kevin. If my mom was here, I'm 100% sure that our lantern would have gone into the air-and not into the lake.

Camp Geneva

I don't even know where to start. Last week I went to camp Geneva. . . . it was the best week of my life. I went there not knowing if I was loved by God. I felt as if God had run out of time for me, I felt as if God didn't even hear me anymore. I felt alone. Now, I know I'm not alone. We had kind of like a Church service there, but it was a really deep service. A preacher talked about how deep God's love is for us. Then, we got to sit and reflect on our past. We got to think about how big God's love is. I broke down into tears, along with a lot of other people. God's love is so amazing, I can't even put it into words. After this service, we got to have 1 on 1's with our counselors. A 1 on 1 is where just you and your counselor go out and just talk. One thing I told my counselor is that I haven't been feeling very loved by God lately, and I told her about my mom. She completely understood. Because of her, I have realized that I'm not alone. My counselor was AMAZING. She was the reason my week was so great, I'm really going to miss her. Anyway, there was a lot more fun activities that we did there, we got to climb up a rope tower, go blobbing, go zip lining, play all camp games, go to the beach, and so much more. All in all, it was a great week. Someday, I hope I can be a counselor there.

Relay For Life, 2012

I went to an event last night called Relay For Life. Let me tell you, that event is the highlight of the year. Relay For Life is an event where a whole lot of people gather at the West Ottawa high school track and we try to raise money to try and find a cure for cancer. People walk around the track too, so that they can feel like they are doing something to help. Walking is optional, though. I go with my neighbors. My mom use to come, also. We set up tents all around the track and just camp out for the night. (It's a 24 hour event.) Most of it, we just hang out by the tent or walk laps. It was so hot on Friday, I got so sunburned that I was sent to the First Aid place that was there. It looked like I had a mask on because of how sun burnt I was. And then of course, the people at the first aid station just start putting on LOADS of sunscreen on me, and it BURNED. I said thank you to the people who put it on, and ran to the tent and wiped it all off. Lesson learned. Put on sunscreen BEFORE you get burned. Anyway, at about 10:00pm, there is a walk where there are bags with candles inside of them. The bags say names of people who have survived cancer, and people who have passed away from cancer. The bags are handmade. I made two for my mom. You can't walk that lap without shedding at least one tear. I was doing fine until they started lighting the lanterns, and then sending them out into the sky. Somebody pointed them out to me, and I couldn't keep it together anymore. I bawled. Thankfully, my youth group leader was there with me. Usually my mom walks this lap with me. . . but, she couldn't this year, and never will be able to again.  The lanterns that floated into the sky kind of reminded me of what happened to my mom. She kept getting sicker, and sicker, and then she was gone. The lights in the sky kept getting farther and farther away... and then they were gone. I don't know if that really made sense... but, last night it made sense to me. . in a way.
I walked 15 and a quarter miles for my mom.
I love you, mom.
Miss you.
See you soon.

A year ago

A year ago from today, at about this time, I was walking around a high school track at an event called "Relay For Life." I was walking around that track to find a cure for caner. A year ago from today, I was told the most devastating news of my life. I was told "shes gone."
Mom, you are missed. I promise, I will fight for a cure.
This Friday, I will again walk at the the event "Relay for Life." I will walk for you mom, just like I promised. The last time I saw you, I promised you that I would walk so many  miles for you, more than I ever had before. I will walk for you, and I will keep that promise.

This is the song that I wrote and then sang at my school Talent Show.

I hope you like it :)

May 30

Well, tomorrow's the talent show for school. . . and I'm singing that song that I put on this website earlier. I'm really nervous... but excited at the same time. Hopefully everything goes well!
Today I had my drivers training test. . . and I passed! I was literally shaking in my seat waiting for the teacher to give me back my test with a grade on it. I wanted to pass so bad! I'll get my permit on Friday and then I can drive with my dad :)
This will probably be my last update for a while because we're turning in our laptops tomorrow, and I'm really not on any computers during the summer.
Please keep us in your prayers, though, as it has almost been a whole year since she's passed away.